This is Kashmir, and it is known as heaven on the earth.
Very well then! Uncle Jehangir termed Kashmir so, and the world picked it up. Uncle
Jehangir came with his wives, with a comfort, I mean, and called Kashmir a
heaven. Well, he usually came to Kashmir in summers. And those summers used to
be quite joyful and that would have prompted him to term Kashmir as heaven. I
don’t think he would have said so, if he would have visited Kashmir in winters,
or in the summer of 2016 or the ongoing killing
spree of winter, 2017, for that matter.
These winters, as we listen to our grandparents, are
nothing in comparison to the winters of their time, not to speak of winters
during the times of Uncle Jehangir. Those would have been harsher. No one dared
to visit Kashmir, then.
Well, it is heaven, but not in winters. Shehanshah Jehangir
should be made to roam around streets. No, not on his horse, but on foot. Then,
I’d like to watch him naming Kashmir as the heaven.
He wouldn’t have. He wouldn’t have dared to call it Firdous, as they say. He would have
packed his bags, assembled his numerous wives, and would have been seen
marching towards Delhi. Frozen roads and icy winds would have made him realise
that indeed: Hunooz Delhi Door Ast (Delhi
is still far away)
His wives would have cursed him. Numerous wives (numerous
aunties), numerous curses. There would have been no room to think that “This place is a heaven.” He would have been looking to get out of this
place, as soon as possible.
This is a place where you need electricity for almost
everything. If there is no electricity and that too during winters, there is
only 1% chance of taking even a shower and cleaning yourself up. I am yet to
see any Kalle Kharaab individual, who
can take a shower in the total absence of electricity. Shehanshah Jehangir should have been brought
to Kashmir in 2017, without servants, but with his numerous wives and without
electricity. I’d like to see this word heaven
coming out of his mouth, then. I am sure that this word would have preferred to
stay indoors.
Summers used to be very joyful until 2008. This joy and
merriment is now, lost in our summers. Kashmir isn’t heaven during summers,
too. Had there been a Shahanshah Jehangir now, he would have called Kashmir a beautiful
slaughter house. Ah! I feel bad for Uncle Jehangir, he has lost every chance to
call Kashmir a heaven, even in summers! He has got nothing to give to the world
now.
Summers kill and winters freeze those dead bodies. Summers
spill blood and winters turn it into ice. Summers boil the blood up, and the
winters boil it down. Summers bring about passion and revolution, and the
winters make us crave for even a shower. Summers fill this land with slogans,
and the winters choke them down (mobile
phones, too needs electricity; so no sloganeering!) Summers bring about tension and fear, and the
winters, too come with fear and tension (of
cold water in the morning, and ‘battery about to die’ message with a cry of my
mobile phone.) Summer comes with a dream of freedom. I discuss it in the
morning: “I had dream where in I saw:
people from that side of tunnel were applying for visa, to visit Kashmir.” And winters, too do come with a dream of:
electricity, a warm tub of water in the morning and a mobile phone with a
charge of 99% left to use. A dream: in summers and in winters too.
I am a Kashmiri with a diverse set of thoughts. I am passionate
about everything. I aim high during summers and aim equally high during the
winters. That’s me! Collars up! I desert everything during summers, I aim high.
Then, I beg, I still aim high.
Uncle Jehangir, Kashmir used to be heaven during those
days, and not today. Don’t try to visit Kashmir alone, or with your numerous
wives. You may die of tear gas. Your wives may lose their eye sight, pellets
may welcome them! Aren’t they more into sightseeing? Don’t let them visit
downtown please! Pellets shower there frequently. Pepper gas may choke them! Beware,
uncle Jehangir, beware!
So don’t visit us, till you too, will have to apply for a
visa to visit Kashmir. You may call it heaven then, but now there is no room
for that.
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